


Understood

by yuffiehighwind



Series: An Eternity in Cheese Country [27]
Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Dual Identity, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Milwaukee, Modern Era, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-04-01
Updated: 2003-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-22 10:20:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3725251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuffiehighwind/pseuds/yuffiehighwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Discord breaks up with her human partner and realizes who understood her all along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Understood

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the 'fic series "An Eternity in Cheese Country," and here's why - after they were killed by Callisto and Xena, the souls of Strife, Discord, and Deimos were reincarnated in the late 20th century into three humans named Steve, Veronica, and Dave.

_It’s a long way to fall,_ Discord thought, brushing back her hair and looking down at the ground below. She stood on the balcony of a hotel and stared at the street. She wondered what it would be like just to fall, feeling the sensation of the ground give out beneath her feet, the wind whipping past like arms too weak to hold her weight up. It must be fun, she thought, and faintly remembered it was. It must be like flying, which she loved to do, though she could no longer clearly remember ever doing it. Then, of course, there was the inevitable splat. It would hurt. Yes, it would hurt a lot, if her head weren’t crushed first. The escape didn’t seem worth the chance.

She supposed landing on one’s head took skill like a cat landing on its feet. Skill she didn’t have anymore. The urge to climb over the railing ceased then and she backed away, re-entering the hotel through sliding glass doors. Dennis sat inside, the television flickering before him. Discord did not feel like lovemaking after all and he grudgingly accepted. Papers were scattered in front of him and he jotted down notes on the program that he was watching. The room was paid for with money not his own but paid for nonetheless. He figured he might as well use it for work if not for fun. Discord herself felt unusually introspective. Seeing him busy she figured she’d interrupt him.

"Dennis, I have a question."

He didn’t bat an eyelash. "Shoot, hun."

Discord paced by the bed, thinking how to phrase her question. "What do you think about death?"

Dennis looked up. "What do you mean, what do I think about death?"

Licking her lips, she tried again. "What’s different about people who…who think about it? Who consider suicide? Mentally?"

He looked confused. "Veronica, I’m not a real shrink. How should I know?"

Exasperated, she tried a third time. "Well, as an everyday human being, what is your opinion on the matter?"

Dennis paused, then replied, "I think it’s sad. Sad and dumb. But I can understand."

"You understand what would drive a person to take their own life?"

Dennis looked at her, then put the TV on mute. He gestured for her to sit down on the bed and she did.

"Look at it this way. There’s a lot of fucked up shit people gotta deal with in this world, and some aren’t cut out to deal with it. I’ve seen people with so much piled up in front of them that it’s too much to take. Day after day they face it, but it just keeps piling up, like garbage on a lawn. Then one day there’s no more room on the lawn, and instead of trying to shove it all off, they give up. They need to. It’s just too much."

He hesitated then. "Personally, I figure you can find a way to shove all the shit off the lawn. You won’t even realize it. It just hits you unexpectedly. That’s why I think it’s sad and dumb. Especially that morbid end-of-the-world poetry shit. Yech."

He turned the TV’s sound back on and resumed what he was doing. Discord sat beside him, watching, her mind processing what he’d said. She thought of wanting to fall, and wanting everything to just stop. Without pain. Just _end_.

And then she remembered what it had been like to never end, assuming it was possible, and discovering it was not.

"Dennis."

"Yeah?"

"I was immortal once."

"Uh-huh."

"I’m not supposed to die."

"Mh-hm."

But he wasn’t listening. She knew he didn’t believe her, not really. She supposed he tried to understand sometimes what she was going through. Most of the time he forgot or ignored the fact she wasn’t human and had difficulty adjusting. And that was what had discouraged her from sleeping with him tonight.

They were standing in the lobby waiting for the elevator. Discord expressed displeasure at it not arriving on time and finally arriving with a deluge of people, causing them to miss the car and have to wait for another one. Dennis was swearing under his breath in aggravation too, but she loudly insisted such a thing would never have happened to her as a goddess, a statement to which Dennis returned an incredulous gaze. He looked at her - just looked at her - as though she had five fucking heads. It was then she thought of who wouldn’t _dare_ do that to her, not out of fear or even any respect, but because he would understand. Deimos.

And as Dennis kissed her when they got to the room – an empty kiss, a kiss for the human Veronica, the mask – she wished she was kissing Deimos, because at least he’d be kissing _her,_ the displaced goddess. He even loved her, in his way, for her and not the new shell. That’s what it felt like. A shell. Even though deception had always held an almost childlike delight for Discord, this sort did not, because it wasn’t intentional. She felt like screaming at these humans, _"This is not real!"_ Even Strife – her family, her sometime best friend, and now roommate  – did not seem to see her. He had been here too long, she agonized. No, Deimos was the only one who understood.

"Dennis, I’m leaving."

This caught his attention. He looked up.

"Why? We have this room for--"

"I can’t do this anymore."

"Oh. You’re _leaving_."

Disappointment crossed his face, though he tried to shrug it off.

"I understand."

Discord stood up, grabbed her bag, and slung it over her shoulder.

"That’s just it. You don’t."

She kissed his forehead and headed for the door. Pausing mid-stride, she almost thanked him. For everything, for _trying_ , but decided against it. That just wasn’t her; the thought even crossing her mind was proof enough she’d been here too long. Without another word, she left.

Dennis sighed and rubbed his temple. The woman had never made any sense, not from the moment he’d met her. He’d miss her, though, he was sure. Time would heal the hole, though, and he had to admit that most of the time she annoyed the piss out of him. Picking up the pen and turning his attention back to the TV, the thought vaguely crossed his mind that he’d just missed something vastly important, but that was silly. Break-ups happened all the time, and she was no one particularly special. Then, he thought, almost dropping the pen, that she still had his Springsteen CD, and to his puzzlement, that he couldn’t remember her name.

 

* * *

 

Standing in front of Deimos' apartment building, Discord froze, gazing up at it. Night had fallen and the sky was clear. She could see great beasts, heroes, and villains in the skies clear as though a child had connected the stars as in a vast connect-the-dots book. She smiled at the images; some bit of her was still there. Frowning, she watched the lines go fuzzy and the pictures become stars again – tiny dots far away arranged in a jumbled mess. Science taught they were distant worlds glimmering and not gods or monsters. Discord vainly searched for family in the heavens. The balls of gas twinkled and chuckled at her. Yes, they were up there, she was sure of it. They found her descent into madness funny. It wasn’t; not to her.

"SHOW ME!" she yelled, just as Deimos opened the door. She’d not even pressed his buzzer – just stood there, scripting in her head what to say – and here he was, on his way out as she sought a way in. Convenient. Maybe her cousins didn’t hate her after all. Raising an eyebrow at Ursa Major – which didn’t look much like her father’s girlfriend in bear form and more like a dipper from this perspective – Discord stepped forward to block Deimos' path.

"Hey."

Bumping into her, he looked up, hands out awkwardly and a confused look on his face.

"Discord?!"

She smiled at him. His eyes went wider. Oh, right, queen of contention. She tried to scowl instead, failing, too happy to see him after her realization at the hotel.

"Hey, watch where you’re going, bub!"

"Watch where _you're_ going! Sweet Gaia’s tits, what the fuck are you doing here, anyhow?"

Hmm. Not good. He was in a bad mood.

"I came here to see _you_ , actually, but since I’m _clearly_ not wanted, I’ll go."

Reluctantly, but keeping with her usual character – the butterflies flapping in her stomach were more than unusual for a meeting with Deimos – she stormed away towards home. After walking a few yards, though, she heard the clomp of boots and felt a hand on her shoulder. He spun her around.

"Whoah, whoah, whoah, missy, hang on a sec."

Quieting the flapping, Discord glared at the hand, but he didn’t remove it. She scowled some more.

His face softened and broke out into a grin. "You wanted to see me?"

She couldn’t resist smiling herself and edged closer to him. "Yeah."

He looked puzzled again and removed his hand. "What for?"

Rolling her eyes, Discord replied, "I don’t know, to hang out or something." Shoving her hands into her pockets, butterflies morphed into bats and she felt chilly though it was a warm night. She figured it was a human thing. Deimos shoved his hands into his own pockets and stood awkwardly, gazing at a nearby street lamp.

After an uncomfortable silence, he said, "That’s kinda odd. I thought ya hated me."

Discord shook her head and watched a beetle skittering along the sidewalk. "Nah. Well, not entirely." Yeah, he pissed her off 98% of the time.

Some crickets chirped from the trees lining the sidewalk and bushes planted by the stoops. Deimos' apartment building loomed above and constellations twirled around the skies, holding back chuckles.

"Okay, well, I’m kinda on the way to a gig. Cherile’s band’s playing at this club and stuff, and…"

Looking up from the bug, Discord searched his face. Would he invite her?

"You can come too. I mean, if you want to."

"Sure. Let’s go."

He brightened. "Really?" Trying to look menacing, he added. "If you try and fuck anything up at this concert, you're gonna get an ass kicking, got it?"

"Understood."

* * *

 

 

The concert was a disaster, and Cherile and her band were kicked offstage, instigating a brawl that required police enforcement. Delighting in the carnage and knocking some skulls while also destroying property – some belonging to Cherile – were Discord and Deimos, who snuck out the back door and fled for Discord’s apartment shortly after the cops’ arrival. Strife was in the countryside with his girlfriend Melanie, and so the two found no problem with celebrating the event with booze and other contraband in his absence. An escalating debate on the nature of the balance between good and evil – expressed none-too-coherently through remarkable flights of insight such as _"Evil always wins because good is dumb"_ – led into a passionate lovemaking session resulting in the destruction, and subsequent shoddy gluing, of many of Strife’s more valuable belongings.

In all her time in Wisconsin, Discord had never been happier.

**Author's Note:**

> "Evil always wins because good is dumb" is a quote from the movie "Spaceballs."


End file.
